Call me mean, call me vain, call me bitchy, call me picky, or call me whatever you want, but I've had enough of being approached by old Western men. Gosh...I don't want to generalize, but it's getting harder and harder not to look at them with something negative in my mind.
The thing is I just went to a social gathering at some hotel on Sukhumvit the other day. It was like a business/social event for expats and (some) locals to meet and exchange contacts. You know, networking stuff. I've been to these events several times out of boredom, in hope to meet decent people outside the working atmosphere. Bangkok is a huge city which sometimes get so huge that it makes me feel lonely, so I need to go out and have interaction with somebody.
In the past, whenever I was approached by unwanted men, I had Dave, Mark, or some other friends to shield me out. In the worst case scenario, I just excused myself to the ladies' room and sneaked out of their sights. Well, those days are gone. Due to unforeseen reasons, I no longer hang out with that group of friends (including Dave and Mark sadly, but for the best). After I came back from abroad last year, I'm back in the city with only few friends left in Bangkok. This leads me having to force myself to go out and try to expand my social network. I'm left to fend on my own and the worst case scenario has changed to which I reluctantly give away my number and hope that they will never call. Well, some of them did call though (thank God that there are very very few.). When this happened, I just told them that I was too busy to meet them. They took the hint and disappeared. However, after having to undergo the worst case scenario several times, I' m getting fed up. I always go out of my way to let someone, even a stranger, down gently. I don't want to do that anymore.
Now, back to the networking on Sukhumvit, I was there and went straight to the bar for a glass of drink, so I wouldn't look awkward. an old white guy, short, probably in his late 50's, appeared next to me from nowhere and chatted me up. He asked me if I was Thai and other general questions and told me about himself. I just conversed with him and was just being friendly and all, until he asked me that damn question.
Him: So, are you married?
Me: No. (fuck! I just know what this about to lead to.)
Him: Boyfriend?
Me: No, I don't have a boyfriend.
Him: Ahh, you see, when I see a beautiful and talented girl like you still single, I always wonder what could have happened. Is your standard too high? You know, he's not handsome enough, not tall enough, or not rich enough, that kind of stuff. You may be very picky. I just don't know.
At this point, the scenario of all the past advances from all the unwanted guys popped up in my head. It was just so obvious what he wanted from me. I could just feel it. Then I thought to myself, 'Do I really have to deal with this uneasy situation again?'
Me: (it's actually none of your fucking business, but okay, I'll give you benefit of doubts) Hahaha...well, you could say that I'm very picky. I do believe that I have the rights to choose what is best for me. Like you say that I'm beautiful and talented, I think I should look for someone suitable for me. (Yeah, I sound very vain and arrogant. How do you like me now? Huh?)
Him: Yes, that's true. Er...so...do you have a business card?
Me: No, I don't, unfortunately. (well, gladly)
Him: Well, what about phone number? A way I could contact you?
Me: Err...may I ask what purpose you want it for?
Him: Well, maybe we could meet for lunch or dinner.
Me: (You know what? I've had enough. I'm not going to let myself go through this crap anymore.) No, I don't want to. I'm really sorry to be frank.
And I gave him a bright apologetic smile that had a hint of fucking-leave-me-alone-already message. He would have to be a hardcore pushover if he tried to talk to me after that. He nodded his head and walked away. I watched as he disappeared in the crowd at the other side of the room. I felt a bit guilty. I felt sorry for him. It wasn't very nice of me to turn him down like that. I know he was just lonely and wanted to have someone to keep him company. But, please, he is as old as my freaking dad, if not older. There are girls out there that are into much much older guys, but definitely not me.
Really, these men disgust me. They have been living their life, doing whatever the heck they want to do, and enjoying being bachelors for years. Now, when they are all frail and full of wrinkles, they realize that they are all alone with money to spend but no one to care for them. So, they hope to use their status as a wealthy white men in a third world country to attract women. It also can't be just any woman. What they want is young lovers half of their age who can boost up their falling ego. I know I shouldn't judge them as one has the rights to choose how to live one's life. I can't help it though. It annoys me to see a white man walking with a Thai woman as young as his daughter. They both disgust me -- the old man for being a sleazy old geezer and the woman for being a money hungry bitch. Let's face it. Although cross-generation marriage that happens out of mutual love and understanding does exit from time to time, I'm pretty sure that 80-90 percent of them is not the case.
Gosh...look at what I just wrote. I'm not actually turning a bit bad (as in a bad person) without realizing it, am I?
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